Joy Class Androids

How It Shouldn't Be


Most of the logs on these web pages are fairly serious, and of course written by me. Naturally, all the other ambassadors and starship crew members are also writing logs, telling much the same story from different perspectives. In addition to the more or less straight logs, there are also humor logs, told just for laughs.

My "How It Should Be" was written at the same time as Doctor Cail's "In Her Own World", the last few paragraphs of which are printed next. While Joy and Kevla were concerned with fighting off mercenaries, Cail actually remembered the prime mission of the away team, which was to collect parasite samples from a species of bat.

I couldn't help but respond to "In Her Own World" with "The Away Team according to Warner Brothers."

From "In Her Own World"

The Bajoran was listening the sounds of the battle with her eyes closed until she heard a new sound. It was her tricorder again. Now what! She picked it up and to her astonishment, she saw that just a few meters below where they were there were 'lots' of life signs. They were very faint and she couldn't tell how far down they were or exactly how many there were, but a premonition told her that the Prophets were still watching her and they had landed in the bad of the little critters they wanted. She slowly stood and took a couple of steps into the cave.

Joy noticed her and turned, "Where are you going Doctor?", she inquired.

"Be very quiet, I'm hunting bats."

The Away Team According to Warner Brothers

Joy noticed her and turned, "What's up Doc?", she inquired.

"Be very very quiet, I'm hunting bats."

"Sorry," Joy replied. "Moose and Squirrel are still trying to recover the Hush-a-Boom. All I've got to fight with are these!" From nowhere, Joy produced a box labeled 'ACME Explosives, Inc', from which she removed a humungous explosive device. Joy pulled the pin, and placed it between herself and Cail.

"Joy!" Cail dived for the device, knowing it's potential, but it simply vanished. She turned to Joy, her helmet distorting her voice, and hiding her face except for the eyes. "Where is the earth shattering kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth shattering kaboom!"

Joy ducked, anticipating a sea of thwapps...